


I'm on My Knees

by suicide_is_my_father



Category: Sherlock (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 09:42:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1342840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicide_is_my_father/pseuds/suicide_is_my_father
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The secret's out and all I hear, is the fire burning down our bridges.<br/>I carved your name into a bullet so people would know that you were the last thing that went through my head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If you need me there you know I will be.

_**If you need me there, you know I will be.** _

"You know what, Benedict? You can fuck off," Charlotte shouted angrily as she turned around to look her boyfriend in the eye, "you can fuck off with all of these shitty excuses, because I don't care. I got to the point where I don't even care anymore, do you have any idea, how much irony is in it?" she run her long fingers through her curly hair and wiped away tears of anger, while tall, black-haired man sat down and put his head to his hands.  
"Char, please," he said softly as he put up his head and looked her in her heterochromic eyes. "I didn't mean to... I just wanted," he was speechless so he looked away as he simply couldn't bare that dissapointment and disgust in her eyes.  
"You wanted what?" she snaped coldly.  
"I wanted to see you care!" he snaped back, usually calm man was getting angry, tho he felt too guilty to look at her. But he looked at her, one quick look. She raised her eyebrows , iritated, and turned her back on him.  
"I didn't think...," he stood up and made one, two steps towards her, "You have no idea how much I regret it, Charlotte." Benedict said as he softly touched her shoulder.  
"And you have no idea," young redhead started, she still felt so much rage, such betrayal that she wanted to hurt his feeling as much as he hurt hers, but then she looked at him, there was so much pain in his eyes. "I... I just need some air," she turned once more and quickly got out of the room, storming out of the main door on the hot summer street, and down on the rush London street.  
She was so confused, yes, of course, she loved him, but she also could not forgive him, that was unthinkable. With these thougs and waterned eyes she run down the street, her high heels claped with her every step. Charlotte started to breath heavily, but panic made her continue the street down. Redhead quickly checked her phone, bumped into some tall guy, and dropped it.  
"Shit," she hissed as she quickly bowed down to get it.  
"Charlotte?" the man asked with nice voice and she froze. She knew that voice too well.  
"Oh dear boy," she sighed as she looked up at a tall guy with fingers running through his curly black dyed hair. He let his ginger beard grew wider than any time she saw him before and his cold blue eyes were watching her heterochromic ones.  
"How lovely to see you in London again, Thomas." she growled sarcasticly. "Working?"  
"No, not really, me and Scarlett... we're here only for a few days, I wanted to see Ben," he responsed with a wry smile, ignoring her tone.  
"I am sure he would love to see you and Scarlett," she continued calmly. "Now, if you may excuse me, I really need to find a bar where I can get drunk and ruin the very precious reputation of our beloved Benedict." she was getting angry again.  
He came closer to her and handed her her iPhone, it was not broken, what a relief. "What's going on, Char?" he asked softly, with real concern. He always liked his best friends girlfriend, though he shouldn't. He cared about her, as about a friend and though he would never admitt it to anyone, he concidered her as the most beautiful girl he ever saw. As she stood there, curly red hair flying all around her face, lips trembling and eyes filling with tears, yes - he was definitely atracted in her. "Hey, hey, look at me, what happend?" he made her look at him, one green, one half hazel, half bright blue eyes locked with his.  
"I just really want to get drunk, thats all, Tom." she get rid of him and without a word continued down the street.  
"It won't be so easy, love, to get rid of me." he smiled at her as he run to he side. She stoped.  
Charlotte sighed, this was getting ridiculus.  
"We had a fight, that's all. But I'm pretty sure he would tell you himself if you just came there." she told him, not looking him in the eye. "If he hadn't there some tall blondie on his desk." she continued bitterly and finally looked him in the eye. "Char, he cheated on-," Tom was startled for a moment, he never though Ben was a man like that. It had to have some deeper reason.  
"Hello there," little beautiful blondie interrupted him with a wry smile. Though Charlotte was in very bad mood, it made her smile, how natural and cute she was. Scarlett Johansson was not only a famous actress, but her good friend too. She hugged Charlotte and kissed her on a cheek.  
"I didn't know you would be here, hon." she said.  
"I'm kind of running away, you know." tall redhead responsed.  
"Oh god, why? Do you want a Vanilla Latte?" she offered her her coffee. Always so friendly.  
"No, thanks." Charlotte softly chuckled. She saw a light smirk on Tom's face, he was still watching her with worried look, but now he relaxed a bit. Scarlett handed Tom his latte.  
"We were just going to bar, would you go with us?" Tom asked her as he put his arm around her waist.  
"Well, WE weren't exactly going to bar, it was mostly ME alone." Charlotte argued.  
"Yeah, but we are now."

 

[Charlotte](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=112439965)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I am new here, so please, be nice to me, haha. No, I just wanted to ask you to excuse my misspeling and grammatical errors, as english is not my mother language.:(  
> And please, comment criticism, or anything, I am really glad for anything.


	2. Can you honestly say that I, I was the only one?

## Can you honestly say that I, I was the only one?

"Double vodka, please." Charlotte ordered as she sat down on a high bar chair, red hair covering her naked shoulders, and put her head in her hands, rubbing her forehead.  
"Hey, I know you!" barman said with a wide smile as he looked at her and her unwanted company.  
"Well, good for you, what about my vodka?" she gave him a dead look and his smile froze. Little blond guy started immidiately preparing her drink.  
"You know this guy didn't kill anyone, right, Char?" Tom asked with raised eyebrows as he sat next to her, watching Scarlett sitting on the other side. Scarlett smiled at short barman with her cutest star smile. "Please, pardon my friend here, she in a... grumpy mood."  
"I am not in a grumpy mood, Scarlett." Charlotte growled, not looking at her and drank her shot. "I am fucking pissed off. Another."  
"We will have same as her." Tom said and continued staring at Charlotte who was too busy with ripping her nail polish off, with his cold blue eyes.  
"Yeah, to that story, honey, what happend?" Little blondie asked as she stroked her cheek and made her look at her.  
"You know, I always liked it when you have blond hair." she said instead of responsing Scarletts question.  
"Char, I don't know, but Ben doesn't seem like that type of a guy. He's my best friend and I think-," Tom told Charlotte ignoring her evasive response to Scarlett.  
"I saw them, Tom. I saw them." she interrupted him with a quick glance and ordered shot of vodka again. Scarlett and Tom exchanged a quick worried look behing redheads back. She knew Benedict too, not as well as Tom, but what she knew, he was gentle, kind and sweet. And he loved Charlotte with his whole heart, he would not cheat on her.  
"Charlotte, he... Benedict cheated on you?" she asked directly, taking her shot and Charlottes too. She simply took Toms one. They both sighed.  
"Well, I don't think, that girl sitting on top of him naked, moving her hips and shouting 'Benedict, oh dear god, Benedict!' with awful american accent - sorry, dear," she said bitterly as she looked at Scarlett who just shrugged and continued, "was not on a meditation lesson."  
Tom did not look at her, but stopped barman who was going away with vodka bottle. " Could you leave it here?" he asked as he gave him money.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't know.“ Scarlett paused, puzzled. „But he loves you-," she said softly, like she was scared Charlotte could shatter every moment.  
"I know he loves me, I know he does." Charlotte responsed without expression, and took a great sip from bottle of vodka. Her head was clearer now, she felt numb, too numb to feel that pain anymore. "But why would he do it?" Tom asked as he took a sip too.  
"I don't know Tom. And I think I even don't want to. I am just tired." she sighed as she turned to face him.  
"And where do you go from here?" he asked her with a little smile. He drank almost as much as Charlotte and he started to feel it. Scarlett, who was most sober from the three of them was playing with Charlottes red hair.  
"She could stay at my or your hotel room for tonight," she said as she took a sip from bottle. Charlotte looked at them both, and she had to smile widely. Her boyfriend's best friend and the most beautiful woman she has ever seen were sitting here in some shitty bar in the center of London, and drinking with her.  
Door opened, and tall blond woman in a grey coat came in. She looked around the room and found Charlotte who gave her just one disgusted look.  
"Hey, Charry," she smiled widely as she rushed to her and leaned hand on her shoulder. "I expected to see you here!" Charlotte looked at the hand on her shoulder, with dark blue nails and a silver ring. She did not try to get rid of it.  
"You finnished?" she asked Tom and Scarlett, who were confused by so familiar acting of so unfamiliar woman, nodding to the almost empty bottle of Russian vodka.  
"Yeah, I guess." Scarlett said doubtly . Redhead slowly took it and drank the very last sip of it, then she stood up, still ignoring tall blondie who left he shoulder, but stood behind her.  
"Hey, Elly," she said with that same fake friendly tone, still not turning around. Charlotte watched shiny surface of that glass, how it made mirror in a low light and slowly took top of it in the hand.  
"Could we get out of here?" she asked tall actor and blond model as she walked beside blondie.  
"Char, who is that?" Tom asked slowly, looking the strange woman in the eye.  
„None, she doesn't have to bother you."  
"Better question is, who are you, right, Charry?" woman said coldly as she turned around to face young redhead. Though, Charlotte was really drunk, she quickly turned around, broke the bottle, still holding throath of it and pinned Elly on the nearest table with shaterred glass dangerously near her face. Every person is that room now watched them, as Tom and Scarlett both took one of Charlottes arms and draged her out of the door.  
"What the fuck was that?!" Tom shouted at her and run his fingers through his curly hair. „If anyone saw, you, do you know what catastrophy it would be for you?!“  
"That whore slept with him!" Charlotte shouted back, sobing. She sat down, leaning against some car and sobing. Sobing so hard she felt sick from a stomach after a while. Scarlett and Tom just sat there with her, holding her and caressing her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, please, excuse my misspelings and such things, english is not my mother language and I don't have a beta:(. Just please, comment, critisism or anything, i am glad for any interaction.


	3. You made me feel like, I could take over the world.

## You made me feel like, I could take over the world.

„I think this is gonna take a while,“ Scarlett said as she glanced at her best friend, who after her mental break-down, simply sat there, on a gravel parking lot, leaned against some car’s door, blindly staring at the night sky. Tom, who sat next to her with hand softly stroking the side of her knee in leather pants tilted his head and gave Scarlett quick nod. „I’ll just go for another liquor, okay?“ blonde mumbled as she kneeled to where Charlotte sat. „And look if that bitch is still there.“ Scarlett added when she saw young redhead move. Young woman raised the corners of her lips in a slightly amused smile but continued staring at the sky. Her best friend grinned and pat her other knee as she got up and swayed to the bar again.  
„Do you want to talk, love?“ Tom asked, leaning against the car too, looking at the sky.  
„He is your best friend…,“ she muttered tiredly, „and I don’t want to ruin that.“  
„Ruining our friendship would not be that easy. We have known each other for a really long time, we have seen each other doing things none of us is proud about. Sure, he is my best friend, but I care about you too.“ Black-haired actor responsed as he slowly looked at her, his icy-blue eyes never leaving her sharp face. She felt his eyes on her and tilted her head to face him.  
„I caaalled us acab,“ Scarlett announced as she walked towards them with half full bottle of Jack Daniels. The other half was particularly inside her, according to her unstable steps and wide smile. Charlotte got up with highly raised eyebrows, heterochromic eyes never leaving shorter’s woman ones.  
„I really don’t understand why exactly are YOU drinking. You are supposed to be my sober support, Scarlett.“ She spat bitterly as she opened the cab’s door for her and pushed her inside. „And how- how the hell did you manage to drink that so quickly?!“  
„Lemme be,“ Scarlett murmured as she sat on the middle seat. „I’ve got dabottle anders nuffing youcan doboutit.“  
„Yeah, right.“ Charlotte rolled her eyes, took Jack Daniels from blonde’s grip, spiling the liquor all over the seats and pushed herself to one beside her. As Tom sat on the last one, he gave the driver adress, leaning his head against the car door’s window. Charlotte took a great sip from the bottle and handed it to him. He looked at her arm, clutching dark glass, then slowly took it.  
All the way to the hotel there was silence, just when Scarlett fell asleep and snored to Tom’s neck, Charlotte laughed a little. As tall man heard that noise, he smiled a little for himself. It was beautiful sound, after all what happend tonight.  
When the cab stopped and Charlotte paid, Scarlett still slept. Peachy lips slightly open, leaning against Tom’s shoulder, she looked peaceful. Redhead leaned to her and softly shoke her arm.  
„Honey, it’s time to wake up, we have to get you to your bed.“ She said with hoarse voice. Scarlett’s eyes opened a bit and she winked, raising her eyebrows as she closed her eyes again.  
„Don’t be stupid, Charlotte, where would we go?“ she muttered as she hugged Tom’s arm, who just powerlessly looked at Charlotte. „Wait, what?“ Scarlett sat up, eyes wide open as she let Tom’s arm.  
„Yes, we are definitely taking her to bed.“ He agreed. They all got out from the car, swayingly walking to the hotel’s main door. Scarlett got inside and to the reception where she drunkly explained that she wanted the cards to their rooms. Tall redhead rushed to help her with explaining, but she stumbled over one step, watching how bottle of good whiskey in dark glass fell from her heands and shattered on the stairs. Charlotte lost her balance and she would fell with her face right into the shards and liquor if Tom didn’t grab her by her exposed hips. His hands felt warm and right, as they consisted on her naked skin. She turned around, his palms still not leaving her body, just holding her midriff instead. For the first time in the whole evening, she really looked at him. Cold blue eyes held her gaze as she slowly covered his hand on her belly with her own.  
„I’ve got the cards!“ Scarlett shouted from the inside and both of them winced. Tom immidiately let her, hands runing through his black curly hair, looking at the ground. Charlotte took a shallow breath and quickly run into the hotel hall.  
„Where is my Jack? Well, never mind.“ Blonde asked with slight annoyance in her voice as they walked into elevator. She sat down and leaned against the iron wall, putting her head to her knees. Charlotte and Tom watched her with disbelief look.  
„She like – seriously, did she just fall asleep again?“ Tom asked his redhead friend with a small smile.  
„Oh God, Scarlett, you are such a dick when you drink.“ Charlotte sighed as the elevator door opened at their floor. „Help me.“ She ordered to Tom as she took Scarlett under one shoulder. He helped her get Scarlett to her room and finally to her bed. They took her shoes off and let her sleep. Tom shoke his head.  
„Want to join me for one last drink, honey?“ he asked Charlotte as he tilted his head and gave her his crooked smile. She hesitated for a moment, feeling of guilt burned inside of her – for drinking with Ben’s best friend, for that moment they had on the stairs down there, even for that, that she left.  
„Okay, why not.“ Fuck guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, excuse my misspelings ad such things, I don't have a Beta:((


	4. I can always speak for myself in this.

## I can always speak for myself in this.

"It's just that...," Charlotte started as she took a sip from a bottle of water, "I know why, or at least I know why Benedict says he did it." she turned her head to watch him doing something behind the bar in his living room.  
"And that's?" Tom asked as he slowly came to the living room with a whiskey and water in a glass and sat next to her. She looked at the glass with disbelief in her eyes.  
"Don't you feel sick, Thomas?" she asked him in return before taking another sip from her pet-bottle. "No, not really." he smiled as he tilted his head curiously. "What did he tell you?"  
"That I didn't care anymore." she gave him sorrowful, yet dead glance. "He said that he was just the last of my options, while I was always on top of his priorities." redhead took a deep breath. She couldn't allow her eyes to start filling with tears again, there was enough of that bullshit already. Instead of weeping, she quickly winked a few times and took Tom's drink.  
"Sorry," she apologized as she put the empty glass on the conference table before them. Charlotte leaned herself on the soft material of the sofa they were sitting on. She turned just when she felt his gaze on her face. "What?" she raised her eyebrows.  
"You, young lady, has just drank my alcohol." he said with the same slightly amused look. "None drinks my alcohol."  
"Yeah, but I am really selfish, and unrespective and I mostly don't care what you should or shouldn't do, and what everybody thinks or what they don't." she growled sarcasticly as she leaned closer to him, holding his cold glance. "So I am very, very sorry, old man...," she continued not moving away for an inch. "No, actually I am not." she furrowed her eyebrows and smiled wider.  
"Yeah, I can imagine, that such a pretty girl as you doesn't have to be sorry for anything, right?" Tom teased as he quickly leaned even closer to her and gave her little kiss on her cheek.  
For a moment, redhead was startled, the only thing she felt were his beard scratching her on her face and when he moved away to take a sip from her pet-bottle, she still couldn't make herself look away. She didn't realised how much Tom and Ben looked as each other. Curly black hear you just wanted to run your hand through, sharp high cheekbones and icy-blue eyes. And their smiles always lit the room.  
"So you think I am pretty?" Charlotte shot back with raised eyebrows and teasing voice. Tom shot her a quick glance before he took another sip from the bottle.  
"I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." he responsed, avoiding an eye contact, fully focusing on the pet-bottle. She didn't know why, maybe because she decided to leave guilt behind the door tonight, or because she simply wanted not to think about anything, but last thing she saw were Tom's hands, yanking her to his lap and covering her mouth with his hungry kiss. She responsed immidiately, suprising herself. Their tounges fought for dominance, his lips so soft and his actions so desperate. Charlotte didn't close her eyes as she bit his down lip lightly, feeling his hot breath on her lips and his fingers digging into pal skin of her back. As she heard the moan coming from his lips she smiled a little, one of her hands grabind part of his white V neck tee into a fist, pulling it, while she run her long fingers across his muscular back.  
As he caressed the tattoo on her hip and kissed the side of her neck, still as hungry as he was just a minute ago, Charlotte pushed herself away. She jumped away from him, runing her fingers through her red hair, breathing heavily.  
"Tom, I... I..." she was crossing the room there and back, heterochromic eyes wide open. „I’m sorry, I drank too much, I have to go.“ The panic made her run to the door, quickly opening them when strong arm grabbed her by her elbow and turned her to him. Tom didn’t wait not even second and kissed her again, harder, with need, his finngers running through her hair. When their lips met, she didn’t hesitated for a moment, there was nothing, just the fire burning inside her and the only thing she could feel was his body.  
Charlotte kicked her high heels off as she pulled Tom’s jacket off as well, while he bit her lip, smiling at the moan coming from her mouth. One hand stroking her face, the other one caressing the skin on her ribs, with one smooth move, Tom took her tee off, leaving her in her leather pants and lacy bra.  
„Not. Fair.“ Charlotte murmured between the kiss as he lead her to bedroom and pulled his shirt over his head. He smiled to her lips as he looked her in the eye. She was so beautiful, so wild that he didn’t understand how Ben could quell her. He gently pushed her onto the bed, kissing her neck, ribs, belly and tattoo on her hip. He quickly unbounded her pants, taking the down, leaving her under him just with her underwear on. Redhead sat as he moved his hands to her lower back, tilting her head so he would have better access for kissing her key bone. As he continued kissing her skin, biting and marking it, he felt her heart racing. With one fluent move he unbounted her bra, tossing it away and pushed her on her back, thighs still clutching his hips as he run his fingers across her delicate neck, breast, ribs stoping at her stomach. Suddenly, Charlotte grabbed his hand into hers, her body tensed, as he looked at her, she looked almost angry, before she let him and slowly run her own fingers across his stomache down to his crotch. Tom smiled his wide smile that always lit the room as she quickly unfastened his pants, taking it down with her feet. She felt the smirk on his face more then she saw it.  
"You like being on top, huh?" she asked him teasingly as she ran her hand across his croth. "Too bad." Charlotte pushed him down and turned them both, now she was on top of them. She felt that he became hard under her. As she sat there, red hair covering her brests, slowly moving her hips there and back, she knew that Tom adored her. Slowly, Charlotte pulled his boxers off, just as her lacy panties. Looking into his eyes, she let him slid inside her. Slowly at first, she bursted with that feeling of fullness. Suddenly, Tom got up, almost agresivly and yanked her closer to him. His hands were wrapped around her midriff, her breasts pressed to his waist, his lips exploring every inch of her pale skin as her hips met his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for misspelings and so on:(


	5. This was all on me and I can't take it back.

## This was all on me, and I can't take it back.

"No, Ellen, I said no!" Benedict shouted angrily as he shot the door close. He turned his back, walking across the room and ragily pulled his t-shirt over his head. He felt the wet spot from red wine and growled.  
"Benny," tall blonde cried out as she opened the door and burst in. "Benny, please, it will be alright!" Ellen slided her fingers across his naked back as he shook her off, snarling at her.  
"Get off me!" he grumbled as he turned to face her, "you ruined it all!"  
"Me? I ruined it?!" she narrowed her eyes as she angrily pointed at her waist.  
"Yeah, right, you didn't ruin anything!" Benedict shouted as he run past her to living room. "It was all my fault! I should never ever even look at you!" he stopped furiously looking at her as he run his fingers through his curly black hair.  
"Why are you so mad, Benny?" Ellen asked slowly taking step toward him. "We... we could let her go."  
"I love her, Ellen! I love her!" he cried out desperately, sitting down , putting his head to his hands.  
"You loved me once too." she hissed.  
"No," he tilted his head and looked her in the eye coldly. "No, I did not." Tall blonde shallowly breathed, before giving him last quick glance, running past him sitting on the chair and storming out of the door. Benedict listened to the sound how the door shut and put his head to his hands again, leaning his elbows to his knees. He took a deep breath, quickly standing up and puttiing on the grey V-neck tee that hang over armchair and going out too. He slowly walked down the street, ignoring curious looks of people around him.  
He saw her cry, and it tore him apart. No matter who he spoke with, where he went, what he did - at every corner, every shop and every poster her face seemed to haunt him, her beautiful face, her pale skin stained by the tears that made their warm path down her cheeks. As he walked in the St. James's Park and sat down again, he felt how everything near him was fading away. He didn't manage to keep it up even for thirty minutes before realising that he loves her and only her. Before he started hating himself and contemplating suicide. Now he sat there, staring into night, his thoughts wandering. What had he accomplished in his life? Nothing, he realized, nothing that was worth anything anymore. He lost everything he cared of just in a few dull minutes. His heart clenched up at the thought, and he closed his eyes, asking himself where they all had gone wrong.  
"Where did this all became so fucking hard?" he whispered to the cold air. His shaking hands reached for his pack of cigarettes and pulled one out. Placing it between his lips, he pulled the Zippo lighter out of his pocket. His hand shook so badly that he barely could guide the flame to the tip of his cigarette, and before he managed to light it up, a wrecked sob freed itself from his throat. He dropped the lighter, not even noticing how it went out when it hit the ground, and buried his face in his hands, letting out a cry that was voicing the pain he felt to the bottom of his soul. He fell to his knees, crying and sobbing so heavily that he felt sick to his stomach after only a few minutes. The tears left as unexpectly as they came, but the pain stayed. Benedict just sat there, looking on the night sky, while his phone started to ring.  
"Hey, brother-in-law! How's it going? How's my little sister?" hoarse voice started talking right before Benedict even answered the phone.  
"You mean Elizabeth or Charlotte?" he asked calmly ignoring his girlfriend's brother's salutation.  
"New Mrs. Cumberbatch, Benedict, - yeah we will talk about the last name - " Marcus growled as Benedict heard something heavy falling down. "Did things go like planned?"  
"Honestly, it went to crap. I screw it all up." dark haired man rubbed his forehead. He almost heard how Marcus furrowed his eyebrows and scratched his chin.  
"Explain," he simply ordered as he wheezed to phone and Benedict heard higher girl voice.  
"I, well, I-I," Benedict sighed as he raised the Zippo lighter from the ground. "I screw it up, Marcus, I ruined it all. You must help me." he broke down as the tears started streaming down his face again.  
"Where are you?" his girlfriend's twin-brother asked sharply.  
"At St. James, but I don't want to stay here, I'll just catch a cab and go home." Benedict took a deep breath.  
"Well, I guess I will see you there, Ben." Tall brunette said before hanging up.

„Sorry, I let you sleep, you looked like you really needed it.“ Marcus said as his mesmerizing heterochromic eyes rested on his face. Benedict looked startled for a moment before he realised where he is and why he is there.  
„Did you try to call her?“ he asked his friend while yawning as he watched him with worried eyes.  
„Yeah, she didn’t answer it but she was propably sleeping,“ brunette smiled as he handed Benedict his iPhone. „Try it now.“ Blue-eyed actor held his gaze for a moment, unsure of what to do. He sighed tiredly as he took his phone and found her name in the list of contacts. It started ringing and it took about ten seconds before someone answered the phone.  
„Charlotte?“ Benedict blurted quickly.  
„Well, not quiet.“ His best friend gritted. Ben could almost hear the smirk on Tom’s face. „Hey there, Benny.“


	6. This was all on us, and we can't take it back.

Late morning sun warmed her on her naked back as Charlotte smiled – her red hair were tickling her on her nose. Somebody next to her shifted with a soft moan and slowly got up. She saw black shadows over her closed eye lids as he was standing by the bed. Charlotte opened her eyes and quickly sat up. She growled as her head bursted with unbearable pain, and her stomach didn’t feel very steady too. Redhead leaned her head on her knees, breathing heavily. Memories of last night were fuzzy but they slowly came back to her, one by one. As she winked, she tasted the liquor on her tongue she felt the tears streaming down her face and his hands on her skin. How it felt when he was touching her, how it felt when they fought for dominance, his hot breath in the curve on her neck followed by his lips.  
„Shit,“ Charlotte hissed as she quickly lifted her head, ignoring burning headache. „Shit, shit, shit.“  
„‘Morning to you too, love,“ Tom growled sarcasticly without his usuall smile playing on his lips.  
Charlotte stared at him for a moment – as he calmly drank his tea, shirtless, with messy black hair and cold blue eyes, returning her dead look without expresion. As he winked and turned his back to her, she quickly got up, rushing to find her pants and top.  
„Are you going to talk to me, or what?“ she asked him angrily as she slipped into her leather pants and put on her high-heeled boots. He turned to face her and raised his eyebrows in I-just-really-dost-care look. That arogance made her even more mad. When he turned his back to her again, she snarled and threw a pillow on him.  
„For God’s sake, Thomas!“ Charlotte shouted as he turned to her in suprise.  
„And what should I tell you?!“ Tom shouted back as he stretched out his arms in anger. „How – how much I am sorry that I ruined your relationship with your boyfriend? I don’t mean to upset you, darling, but he. Is. My. Fucking. Best. Friend.“ He snapped and came closer to her with every word. „This drunk mistake won’t affect only you, love, but me too, and don’t you dare,“ he continued, there was such a rage in his face that Charlotte took a step back, „don’t you dare to tell me that it was all my fault, because it wasn’t. I wanted you as hell, yes, I wanted you from the first time I saw you, but last night – las night it was not only on my side. You may feel scared, hang over, and betrayed, but so do I.“ Tom ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Last night, he didn’t think, he just acted. He stopped her from going away, because he simply couldn’t bare the tought that she would come back to HIM, when Tom was the one who was supposed to have the right to kiss her, touch her – to have her whole. In that moment, his rage was more than his guilt.  
„Oh god,“ Charlotte sighed, „what am I going to do?“ she asked herself, rubbing her forehead.  
„Right now – as much as I enjoy this point of view – you should really put this on,“ he said after he slided his eyes down her body and handed her his white V-neck shirt. She looked down, confused. When she saw her naked skin, she just gasped and quickly took it.  
„Tom – I - ,“ she started puzzled and speecheless, „what – what should I do?“ she asked him as she tilted her concerned eyes and clenched them with his. „I don’t want to lose him.“  
Tom took a deep breath and sat on a chair next to him, he avoided to look in her eyes. „You should go and tell him that everything’s going to be alright.“ He smiled. „I won’t tell him, don’t worry.“  
„Jesus, Tom, thank you so much! I – I’ll just go then, tell Scarlett that I’ll call her, okay?“ she smiled widely and it tore him apart. That smile was like a bullet right to his heart. Charlotte run across the room, grabbing her things and quickly opened the door.  
„It was not just that vodka, Char,“ He said slowly, as she opened the door and looked at her. „It only helped me to do what I wanted to do.“  
„I,“ she paused, „I can’t do this, Tom, I just can’t.“  
„You love him, yeah. Everybody always did.“ He spat bitterly and broke the eye contact again.  
„It’s not like that, you hypocrite.“ She snapped angrily.  
„It is not? Than what about a one last kiss, huh?“ he asked her with an arogant smile on his face.  
„Why are you acting like a dick, Thomas?“ Charlotte shook her head and got out of the door, never looking back.  
  
Tom sat there, desire of destroying furniture almost took over him, when a phone in the hotel room rang. It could not be his, his was turned off. Tom took Charlotte’s iPhone and when he saw Ben’s name on it, he just had to smirk. Such an irony. He decided to answer it.  
„We will see how much he will love you after this phone call.“ He said to himself. Tom furrowed his eyebrows. He had no reason to act like a jerk – well yes, his feelings were hurt a bit. But that didn’t mean he had to destroy the friendship he worked so hard on. Tom almost put the phone back down, but then he saw a lacy bra laying on the floor.  
„Charlotte?“ Ben’s voice asked full of hope.  
„Well, not quiet,“ he smiled. „Hey there, Benny.“  
„Tom? What,“ Tom imagined how Benedict checked if he had the right number in confucion, it gave him some weird feeling of satisfaction. „Where’s Charlotte?“  
„I guess that on her way home, but you and me, brother dear, we should talk.“


	7. It doesn't matter if our bridges are burning.

"You sneaky little bastard," Charlotte said slowly, her voice almost dangerous as she kept her heterochromic eyes fixed on Tom's profile. She shoke her head in disgust.  
"Sorry, honey, I simply changed my mind," taller man arogantly smirked, "what can I say?" he shruggled.  
"I don't know, but 'I'm an ugly son of a bitch' would work for me," she raised her eyebrows. Tom's smile disapeared from his face, but his cold eyes followed her as she crossed the room.  
Tall redhead headed to her boyfriend who was standing with his back turned to face her, and musculed arms tensed as he was leaning on a window parapet.  
Charlotte saw his reflection in the clear window glass and her heart sinked lower than her stomach did. Benedict’s eyes were shut and his nostrils wide stretched as he tried to calm down.  
„Ben, I-,“ Charlotte pleaded softly.  
„Quiet,“ he snapped, opening his eyes and tilted his head a little bit, but not enough to face her. She gulped and gazed at the ground as he turned and walked past her to where Tom stood. Charlotte saw a little satisfied smirk with the corner of her eye. She heard his steps, they sounded like shots in the silence. Benedict stopped in front of his best friend, staring at his clenched fists. Redhead lifted her head and looked back to see how Ben’s right fist quickly fired up. She winked and the next thing she saw was Tom holding his nose and groaning.  
„Fuck,“ taller man cried out benting his head, abstractedly watching his bloody hand and Benedict’s face. „Why – why, Ben, fuck,“ black haired man run out of the room leaving the blood drops on the floor. Benedict touched his knuckles and hissed as he shoke his hand.  
„Shit,“ he growled as he gazed in her direction, „look, Char, I don’t know.“  
„You don’t know what?“ she asked as she furrowed her eyebrows.  
„What to do.“ Ben rubbed his forehead and stepped closer to his girlfriend.  
„You,“ she paused, „you are not mad at me?“ Charlotte lifted her head and locked her confused eyes with his cold ones. He was standing there, stubble beard on his chin, black hair longer for his Sherlock role for BBC. He moistened his lips as he thought about good answer.  
„And you? You are not mad at me?“ he asked in return.  
„I don’t know if I feel anything at all.“ Charlotte turned around and gazed out from the window. „But I was scared.“ She turned back with finger on her down lip. „I was so scared that I could lose you.“  
With these words all that fear, guilt and sorrow fell on her like a veil. She run her fingers through her red curly hair and furiously winked, trying not to let her eyes fill with tears. She grabbed hem of Tom’s tee she wore with effort to hold on something. Her hands were shaking as painful sob freed itself from her throat. Benedict overcame the last few feets that was separating them and yanked her to his arms.  
„I’m sorry, Ben, I’m so sorry,“ she whispered between sobs to his neck. „I am so terribly sorry.“  
„It’s okay, it’s alright,“ Ben told her as he kissed her on her crown, smelling that wonderful scent of her shampoo, cigarette smoke and something sweet that was purely her and caressed her back. She took one heavy breath and pulled his lips to hers in a desperate need of something known of something safe. He responded immediately, one hand carrying her jaw, the second one taking a handful of her hair. With the greatest of efforts he broke the kiss before he did something he would regret. He carried Charlotte’s jaw line with his two index fingers and looked into her eyes. He always found something new about them, like now, as that blue spilled into hazel brown, there was a color of the sea in winter, steely grey and right at the bottom of all that chocolate brown there was almost black. She smiled a little, it was that nervous, unsure smile he loved so much.  
„Come on, Charlotte, don’t be bitch,“ someone remarked from the main door. „Oh wait, you can’t be anything else.“ The voice chuckled darkly.  
Benedict let go of her face and turned around to see at the main door, but let one arm rest on her hip. She noticed that gesture and it fulled her with joy though she didn’t show it. That’s what she was best in. Not showing emotions. Her daddy always told her not to let them see her cry, not to let them see her care. When they see you stumble, they will let you fall.  
„I think I showed you very clearly no one wants you here, Thomas.“ Ben said deadly, his jaw tensed.  
„I just came for my jacked, Benny, calm down, jesus.“ Tom’s voice was tensed, but with marks of arogance, like always. He crossed the room with highly raised eyebrows, grabbed his jacket and stopped. He was turned back to the couple so they didn’t see him smirk.  
„Well, it was my pleasure,“ he turned, „I am sure you two will solve your problems and will be so in love again, well, just look at yourself. A whore with a mask of a queen and a man who always backed off. Such a lovely couple.“ He came closer with every word and Charlotte felt as Benedict’s fists clenched. When Tom was standing right before them, looking at Benedict who didn’t returned his sight, shorter man went forward, startling his girlfriend and Tom too. Ben knocked him to the ground, holding out a fist again, when Charlotte cought him, not letting him to hit Tom.  
„He’s not worth it, Ben,“ she whispered to his ear, trying to calm him down. „He’s not worth anything at all.“


	8. Don't back this out.

„No, Thomas, I don't care about your excuses, reasons or any other of that shit, I just don't.“ Scarlett snapped. Tom sat down, leaning against the wall and leaned his head against his raised knees. He run his long fingers through his black hair, ruffling it on it's way. He felt his fingers curling into a slight fist and sighed.  
„Well that's just alright, no arguments from me.“ he lifted his head, peering out from the window. It was nearly noon, sun brightly shone through the clear glass. Scarlett raised her eyebrows and shoke her head in annoyance, blonde waves flying around her face as she did so.  
„No arguments from you?“ she mimiced sarcastilly as she walked towards him. He slowly stood up, head still bowed down and looked at her with aside look. „You are okay with that?“ she asked him again and hit him in the shoulder. „Fuck, Thomas! You screwed it up, and no arguments from you?!“ Small blonde yelled at him hiting him with clenched fist again and again.  
„That hurts Scarlett!“ he yelled back at her, catching her wrists in his hands. „Stop it!“  
„And how do you think my best damn friend feels? A little bit hurt?“ she growled, riping out of his grip. Scarlett lifted her head to face him, her blue eyes full of rage, jaw clenched.  
„She knew what she is doing. She knew it very well.“ Tom aswered coldly, turning around to reach his phone. There were few missed calls from Benedict and one from his agent.  
„You should be the one who though with his brain and not his dick, Tom!“ Scarlett cried out and sat to an armchair, biting her downer lip. „They won’t get back together now, it’s over for them.“ She sighed tiredly and looked up at him.  
„Okay, I was douche, I acted like a jerk,“ Tom started with one hand lifted up in a calm-down gesture.  
„No, you acted like a cunt. Just a cunt, nothing more, nothing less.“ Scarlett interrupted him with a low growl.  
„Yeah, I propably did.“ Tom agreeded with a groan and came a bit closer to Scarlett, softly grabbing her shoulders, making her to give him her atencion.  
„You definitelly did, but the point is,“ she said calmer, „how do we make this right?“  
„Why should we get them back together, I mean, what’s the point of this whole situation? He had a ring, Scarlett,“ Tom let go of her, „he had a ring and backed off like he always does.“  
„And this is his punishment?“ Blond shoke her head. He just growled and crossed the room. „You, young man,“ she spoke aloud so he couldn’t ignore her. „You will apologise.“Scarlett gave him a stare.  
„Okay.“ He hissed. „I’ll apologise, but they won’t talk to me, so it won’t be that easy.“  
„But they will talk to me.“ She said and closed herself in the bathroom, smirking. Tom sat down in the armchair and took his phone out of his pocket again. His agent called again, but he wasn‘t in the mood for talking to him right now. He will text him later.  
He stood up and with uncertain steps slowly crossed the hotel room - it was exactly the same as his – and looked out from the window. As a result that their rooms were in 15th floor, there was a wonderful view on the London city. He saw himself in the pane of glass – tall, with black v neck t-shirt and black suit jacket – and realised, how bitter he looked, not just felt. What was it, that made him say things he would never said before and do things he would never did before? What was it, that made him curse the shinig sun for being so beautiful, to hate the nonexiting clouds on the very blue sky just with the though that she is somewhere under them and maybe, maybe is watching them right now. Tom sighed as he turned and crossed the room to knock on the bathroom door. That red haired devil got under his skin already three years ago when they met.  
„Scarlett, honey, I’ll just go and clear my head and call my agent, okay?“ he said to the door, knocking. He took a step back when the door opened a little and Scarlett with a great messy bun on her head opened the door and peered at him.  
„Don’t do anything stupid Thomas.“ She told him with a raised index finger. He quickly grabed her hand and softly kissed the knuckles. She smirked and he didn’t manage to hide his smile too, not completly. Tom lifted his head to give her his wide smile.  
„Promise,“ he said.  
He left the room remembering the first time he saw Charlotte and how many things could be easier if he didn’t. Tom inhalated deeply. What was the point of thinking about his best friend’s girlfriend? He pissed Ben off really much already, there is no need to do more damage. All what is necesary is an apology. He stopped at the bench in front of the hotel and sat there, head in his hands.  
„Hey, Tom,“ a tall blond woman sat next to him, smiling at him wryly. He was confused, he rememberd seeing her somewhere but could not realise where. He opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him even before.  
„No, you don’t know me. Well we have seen each other for a few moments yesterday before your redhead friend threatened me with ripping my throat.“ She said with that smile on her face.  
„And what can I do for you, Elen?“ Tom asked with the same fake smile on his own face.  
„We both have something common in interest, yet both of us for different reasons.“ She paused. „Miss Charlotte Chasey, Tom.“ That smile dissapeared from her face and Tom was really glad. It was annoying. He raised his eyebrows and leaned a little bit closer.  
„I’m listening.“


	9. It isn't easy when the world turns the back on you.

It isn't easy when the world turns the back on you.   
„Go away, Marcus,“ Charlotte whined weakly as her voice broke into a sob and she covered her face in her palms. Tall brunette stepped in with raised eyebrows as he scanned the room with his heterochromic eyes. Coffee table was on it’s back, dishes broken on the kitchen floor, glass shettered into pieces and he saw his sister’s leg bleeding. He crossed the room in silence, leading to the bathroom door, quietly grabbing some clean bandages from there and came back to realise that the sobing stopped. Charlotte sat there, bleeding leg stretched out on the floor while her other rised knee holded up her forehead as she breathed heavily. Marcus kneeled in front of her stretched leg, black jeans rustling as he did so, and slowly bandaged her bare foot. As he finished he sat down on the floor next to her, slowly caressing her hair. Charlotte lifted her head and wiped the tears off her face with her sleave and looked at him.  
„I’m sorry,“ her cold eyes clenched with their copy on her twin-brother’s face.  
„What for?“ Marcus asked with a small smile, tilting his head a little and continued carresing her red hair. It felt so much like when they were younger, right after their parents died. That was five years ago, and they never spoke about the two months, when Charlotte broke up with Jared after he beated the crap out of her and raped her, because she refused to fuck him and his three friends at once. They never spoke about the two months, when he listened her cry herself to sleep every night, and there was nothing he could do about it. They never spoke about the two months when he quietly bandaged her bleeding wrists, while she whispered ‚I’m sorry, I‘m sorry, I‘m so sorry‘ a hundred times. Nor they spoke about the emptiness they both felt, how they hardly talked to each other, though they were best friends, nor about the time when he broke his fist as he punched the wall.  
„That you understand,“ a sob freed itself from her throat as Marcus pulled her to a tight hug.  
„It’s okay, Char, I’m here, it’s okay,“ he whispered to her ear trying to calm her down. She nodded as she slowly pulled away and sniffed.  
„Tell me what happend, okay, sis?“ she shot him a glance and quickly shook her head. There was too many things she was ashamed off. Her actions, her thoughts, her feelings.  
„Charlotte, we have been through this once. Don’t make it worse.“ He paused coldly. „Tell me what happend.“ She took a quick breath at the mention of past, a painful shadow in her eyes made him feel guilty for a second. Brunette licked his lips and sighed.  
„I am your big brother, remember? You can always trust me, I will never judge you.“  
„You are only one minute older than me, Marcus.“ Charlotte pointed out and shot him aside glance. He gave her an amused smile, showing his teeth. He remembered when people used to tell them they looked so alike when they smiled. It were nice times.  
„Do you want to hear it from beggining?“  
„Yes please, that would be nice.“ Marcus responsed.  
„The thing is, you know us. You know me and you know Ben. He saved me, when… when I needed someone,“ she paused and Marcus nodded, avoiding an eye contact. „You and he, you are the reason why I am still alive. You got me out from there – it was, it was really a dark place,“ Charlotte inhalated deeply. „I was lost, and he found me and though I concidered it impossible, I fell in love.“ She stopped to look at her brother, he smiled at her. „We were together for almost three years now, and when Jared showed up three months ago, it just came back. Everything came back – all that fear, these parts of me I hated to be, they were back. And I, I just wanted to let it go, so I locked myself inside of me, and as a result, I found Ben with my assistant. I think they met when I was recording and Ben came to pick me up.“ Charlotte rubbed her forehead and continued. „We, we had a big fight, he told me what happend and I ran away – you know I do this – and I got drunk with Tom and Scarlett, and Marcus, I did a mistake, I wanted it to stop hurting that much, I wanted him to stop hurting me so much.“ Tears started streaming down her face again, but she wouldn’t stop now, she had to say it, for her own good feeling. „And I came back and apologised and it felt nice for a minute. It felt normal again, but it couldn’t work, it couldn’t last long. I was wearing Tom’s tee shirt and I didn’t realise, and Ben did. He got mad and I got mad too, we screamed at each other and at one point I think I threw a plate or a glass at him, I don‘t remember, it’s like in a fog.“ She finished and looked up to face him. His eyes were sad as he smiled. He knew there was no way how he could fix this, so he pulled her to his waist and held her. Marcus clenched his jaw at the thought that he couldn’t do anything to stop her tears from falling.  
„I can’t do this, Marcus. He made me feel like I felt before. I can’t let it happen, not again. I can’t fall again. I can’t let anyone treat me like shit, not anymore.“ Charlotte weeped, her sobs quiet as he caressed her back with one hand and hair with the other.  
„I won’t let them, sister, I won’t let them.“


End file.
